The year was 1848 – 72 years after the American Revolution, 13 years before the start of the Civil War. It was the year the Mexican American War ended and Wisconsin became the 30th state. It was the year that American feminism was born at the Seneca Falls Convention and the rules of baseball changed to allow the 1st baseman to tag the base instead of the runner for the out. And, my personal favorite, it was the year that Willam G. Young patented the ice cream freezer.
It was also the year that the Congregation Brethren of Israel was officially organized in the City of Poughkeepsie. It was the first synagogue in Dutchess County, the first Jewish institution in the Hudson Valley and the 28th oldest congregation in the country.
Three years earlier, five men – Jacob Baker, Isaac Haiman, Herman Hart, Aaron Morris and Solomon Scheldburgher started to meet informally for worship, even though they were but half a minyan.
While we don’t know anything about the background of these men, one might well imagine that they would have reflected the demographics of the American Jewish community of the time; most likely they were immigrants. From 1820 to 1840, the American Jewish population rose from 3,000 to 15,000; by 1860, it was 150,000. They came from a variety of countries, mostly from Central Europe. These immigrants were mostly lower middle-class; 30% were married with children. They were escaping economic challenges, political discontent and rising antisemitism. They were drawn to America for hopes of economic prosperity and religious freedom.
According to an 1860 census, Jews made up most of the 16,000 peddlers in the country, a relatively new occupation resulting from the “market revolution” of the mid-19th century brought on by new modes of transportation. These traveling merchants also brought Judaism with them wherever they went, introducing Jews to communities that had never met one before! Many settled in the Midwest, which is why the Reform movement took root in Cincinnati. While one-quarter of all Jews lived in New York City, there were synagogues in 19 states and the District of Columbia. (1)
So it was that these 5 men settled in Poughkeepsie. With no synagogue between New York City and Albany, these pioneers took it upon themselves to create one, meeting initially at irregular intervals in a meeting room on Main Street, filing papers of incorporation in 1851, moving to the upper floor of the law library on Market Street the next year and purchasing land for a cemetery in 1853, a sure sign of their commitment to the establishment of a Jewish presence in the area. Visiting rabbis led services occasionally; mostly they were lay led.
In so many ways, the history of this congregation is marked by two essential characteristics: vision and adaptability. It is amazing to think that there were only 16 member families when the congregation acquired its first building in the 1860s, the former Congregational Church on Mill and Vassar Streets, and hired a rabbi. They must have believed in the Field of Dreams adage, “If you build it, they will come.” Indeed, the congregation did continue to grow in size and in the depth of its offerings, establishing a Sisterhood and a Men’s Club, in addition to a religious school. Almost a century after buying their first building, thanks to the generous donation of the land, the congregation, now of 140 families, moved to our current location in 1953, carrying with them the beloved name, Vassar Temple (the exact origins of which are still up for debate).
Their vision for the future not only inspired them to purchase larger buildings, it also empowered them to adapt to the changing times. By the turn of the century the congregation began to move away from its orthodox roots. Its worship style began to change, one might imagine with the introduction of English in the service, mixed seating of men and women. In 1923 they adopted the Union Prayer Book, the prayer book of the Reform Movement. These modernizations were felt by some to be too radical a shift and a group of families left Vassar Temple, ultimately to form Temple Beth-El in 1928. The congregation weathered that storm as we did others over the years. In a very progressive move, Mrs. Josephine Kahn was elected president in 1934; a first in the country, we believe! Vassar Temple continued to strengthen its identity as a Reform congregation, officially affiliating with the movement in 1951 (a movement which it predated by 25 years!) (2)
There is so much about which we can proud as we celebrate Vassar Temple’s 175 years of history. There will be multiple opportunities for celebration throughout this new year, including a gala on April 14th and plans are in the works for a special anniversary Shabbat service (stay tuned for details). If we only celebrate our past, however, we will be missing a most significant opportunity that these milestone anniversaries provide – to carry forward the vision and adaptability of our founders as we look ahead towards the next milestone anniversary and beyond. Just as we, as individuals, embark upon the process of heshbon hanefesh, deep personal reflection, as we begin a new year, considering who we have been, who we are and who we want to be, so should we reflect upon the same for Vassar Temple and like our founders, dare to adapt and change to meet the needs of today and tomorrow.
Perhaps the greatest change in Vassar Temple in recent years has been our jump into the age of technology. COVID forced us to fast track what had been talked about for many years – broadcasting our services. Thanks to the many supporters of the Lilah Matlin Technology Fund, we were able to install a fairly sophisticated system, all volunteer run, by those first Days of Awe when we were zoom only. We have continued in hybrid format for services and many programs ever since. I repeat – this is ALL volunteer run. Larger congregations are able to pay for these services; we are not in that position. Our team has continued mightily now for three years. We really need more help. I’m sure some of you have developed zoom hosting skills by now. If so, we need you – the rest is not that hard to learn!
As we had hoped when we only dreamt about this technology, there are people now who are able to join us for Shabbat and holiday services, Torah and Talmud study, along with other temple activities, who would not have been able to participate without this technology. Geographic boundaries are no longer limiting. Zoom meetings have a higher attendance rate. And, yes, people can join on those Friday nights when they are simply bushed and don’t want to leave their homes.
This is all wonderful, though not without its challenges. How do we maximize this technology to enhance our mission while also building community, when we are divided between in-person and on-screen? There is a reason that 2000 years ago Hillel taught, “Do not separate yourself from the community.” (3) When all is said and done, it is the community, the interpersonal relationships, that are at the heart of synagogue life. I am pleased to report that our in-person attendance at Shabbat services has been increasing and there are plans to bring back some congregational Shabbat dinners as they once were wonderful opportunities for social bonding. I hope you will join us and be part of our community.
Building a community takes more than just creating opportunities to gather together, however. Real community is an inclusive space where everyone feels that they belong.
I gained a new perspective on inclusivity and belonging from a diversity training program for clergy offered by the Religious Action Center in which I participated last year. It has had me thinking about who feels like they belong at Vassar Temple today and who else should.
One particular image of the training has stayed with me: it was a slide of a tree in the wrong environment. Now, I don’t remember exactly what tree it was; let’s say it was an apple tree in a desert climate. How long will that tree survive? Not long. A tree won’t grow in the wrong ecosystem. If we want that tree to grow, we need to change the ecosystem. Now, think of a congregation as an ecosystem. We like to think that we are a welcoming congregation and welcoming to all. But how diverse are we? Now, we can’t expect diversity to just happen. People from marginalized backgrounds won’t thrive in an environment for non-marginalized people. Creating a diverse community requires first ensuring that the ecosystem here will support that diversity. Diversity is an outcome of a healthy ecosystem, not the other way around.
While there are multiple marginalized populations both within our congregation and outside of it that could be brought in, tonight I would call our attention to two populations that are already here, perhaps not always so apparent, and are not always as included as they should be: people with disabilities and the LGBTQ+.
Last year, as part of their curriculum about B’tzelem Elohim, the Jewish value that all people are created in the Divine image, our 7th graders conducted an accessibility audit of the congregation and presented their recommendations to Lisa-Sue, our president. One of the great things about being thirteen is that you’re not limited by fiscal realities as most adults are. They were free to reach for the sky. So, yes, for many reasons it would be great to remove the pews and replace them with flexible seats so that wheelchairs could get through. And it would be awesome to have a gender neutral handicapped accessible bathroom upstairs. Other recommendations, including installing more handrails on the steps to the bema, building a ramp to the bema, and making the existing bathrooms handicapped accessible, while quite challenging are not beyond the realm of possibility. Clearly, this sanctuary, designed in the 1950s, did not take accessibility into consideration. No one did back then.
We have taken some steps towards accommodations. We have large print prayerbooks; we have to make them more available. We do invite those who cannot climb the stairs to the bema to participate by reading from below this pulpit; still, it doesn’t feel quite the same. We do have an elevator to get downstairs – a little rickety to be sure, but it works! But we don’t always remember to wait for those making their way down slowly down to the Oneg before we begin kiddush.
These bandaid steps are okay as temporary measures but they do not create the ecosystem that conveys the feeling “you belong here.” With an aging population -we are blessed with at least a minyan of nonagenarians – as well as others with physical limitations, it is time that we found ways to move beyond these temporary measures and adapt our physical structure to meet the needs of our current and future congregants.
There is one easy to fulfill recommendation from the 7th graders that we are in the process of addressing: the students pointed out that the mezuzah on the doorway into the sanctuary is beyond the reach of someone in a wheelchair. We are looking for just the right mezuzah to add to that door at the appropriate height. Incidentally, when the students went to look for the mezuzah on the front door, they discovered that there isn’t one! That will also be remedied — with one lower down as well.
Displayed on our front door, on the lawn next to the Vassar Temple sign, and on our website, are signs saying LGBTQ Safe Space. These signs give a very important message of welcome to a population that is coming under increasing attack in our nation, whose basic rights are being denied in more and more states and in recent Supreme Court rulings. The 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health by the Trevor Project found “nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide.” However, “… LGBTQ youth who felt high social support from their family reported attempting suicide at less than half the rate of those who felt low or moderate social support.” (4) In June, I joined a group of congregants staffing a table at the annual Poughkeepsie Pride Fest. The number of people who stopped by and expressed their astonishment and appreciation that a synagogue was there was quite gratifying. This welcome can be lifesaving.
According to a recent Gallup poll, 7.1% of US adults and nearly 21% of Generation Z adults (those born between 1997-2003) self-identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual. (5) They are not strangers. They are our family, our friends, our neighbors and co-workers, they are our teachers and our students. They are us.
If we are to live up to the promise of our signs, then we need to ensure that Vassar Temple is also a place of belonging for the LGBTQ+ and their loved ones.
To be sure, we have taken some positive steps to be inclusive. The definition of membership was broadened some years ago to include “two adults who reside in the same household,” (this was before marriage equality). Instead of spaces for husband and wife, our membership applications have “Adult 1” and “Adult 2.” This year we held our first Pride Shabbat. We addressed the challenges faced by those who are transgender and the need for support from their families and community.
What would we see if like our 7th graders, we did an inclusivity audit of Vassar Temple for the LGBTQ+ population? We would see that our only bathrooms are labeled Men and Women. Which room does someone who does not fit into that gender binary choose? Given the statistics, there will be, if there aren’t already, children in our religious school who do not fit into a gender binary. Do they feel like they belong here?
As with handicapped accessible bathrooms, the solution to this problem seems impossible right now. There are less challenging adaptations that we can make to change our ecosystem – they are not costly, they just take our willingness to change and move beyond the discomfort of what may feel uncomfortable at first.
I recently received an email from a young man who grew up in my former congregation inquiring if I might be available to officiate at his wedding. I couldn’t answer because he omitted any details, including the name of the person he was marrying. I started to write back, wishing him mazal tov and asking for details, including some information about his …… and then I stopped myself. Do I write fiancé with one e or two? I didn’t want to assume that he was marrying a woman because that would be really awkward if he were marrying a man. It is time to stop making such assumptions. They become microaggressions that marginalized people experience all the time. I didn’t want to possibly contribute to that. Ultimately, I found a creative way around it by being a bit old fashioned – I referred to his “intended.”
Retraining ourselves not to make assumptions about people we don’t know, not only with regard to their sexual orientation or their gender identity, is essential to creating an inclusive atmosphere. The language that we use is also key to conveying a message of true welcome. The pronouns that we use can make a big difference in how people feel they are being received and affirmed. Let’s face it – using “they” instead of “she “or “he” is uncomfortable, hard to get used to, and it’s wrong if you care about grammar. But this is the term that has taken hold in the trans and gender fluid communities. If we want to be inclusive, if we want the LGBTQ+ to feel that they belong here, too, then we need to adapt and call people by their preferred terms.
There is an area of Jewish life where gender neutrality is especially challenging. Hebrew is a gendered language. There is an institute in Israel currently working on more non-gendered terminology, but it has a ways to go. For generations we have had Bar and Bat Mitzvah. Bar, son, for boys and Bat, daughter, for girls. Ever since that diversity training, I’ve been thinking about those trans and gender fluid children who are certainly in our congregation. I want them to feel that they belong here, that this synagogue is their spiritual home. I want one of the most significant Jewish experiences of their young lives to be affirming of who they are. A new, gender neutral term is taking hold within the more liberal denominations: B. Mitzvah. I know – awkward! This term could be used when speaking in general and as a child is preparing for his, her or their service, they could choose whichever term they felt most appropriate. I would urge us to consider such a change. No cost to us, just an adjustment.
Even more important than the steps that we can take to create a more inclusive community for the LGBTQ+ and their families here are the actions that we can take to ensure equality in our country. Just yesterday I learned from the Religious Action Center that all 12 bills that are part of the budget resolution to fund the federal government contain some element of anti-LGBTQ+ language, such as limiting federal funding for gender-affirming medical care, banning drag performances on military bases and authorizing anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination in federally funded programs. If you share in the values of Reform Judaism that teach us that we are all created in the Divine Image and that discrimination against people because of their sexual orientation or gender identity is wrong, then I would urge you to go to RAC.org where you can send emails to your representatives in Washington, asking them to oppose any such provisions in the appropriation bills.
After meeting with the 7th graders, Lisa-Sue shared the students’ recommendations with the board. She raised the idea of a Task Force on Inclusion and Accessibility to assess our congregation and take steps to make the necessary changes to be the inclusive community we want to be. In the coming weeks she will propose that the Board pass a resolution to formally initiate such a Task Force that will then move forward with assessment, research and recommendations. Some challenges certainly seem overwhelming right now, but creative minds can find creative solutions. It takes vision and adaptability.
Let us be inspired by the 5 men who met for prayer and formed a synagogue and the 16 families who bought a building. And a congregation that had the vision to adapt and change over time and now celebrates its 175th anniversary. May there be many, many more to come.
(1) Historical information from American Judaism: A History by Jacob D. Sarna (Yale University Press, 2004)
(2) Information taken from Vassar Temple archives
(3) Pirkei Avot 2:3
(4) https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2022/
(5) https://news.gallup.com/poll/389792/lgbt-identification-ticks-up.aspx
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